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Disney > Russell Crowe (By Far)

June 8, 2010

The new Robin Hood, featuring Russell Crowe, is the worst movie I’ve seen in some time. It would have been entertainingly bad if it hadn’t been so long. Guess what? Nobody dies! Except for the people that you expected to die. And the French leave after about 15 minutes of battle. The French, you ask? Yes, the French. Whoever wrote the screenplay went to the trouble of making up a (ridiculous) backstory, which includes the French and a mysterious Magna Carta-ish document that (surprise!) happens to be written by Robin’s father – ZOMG! They wrote a whole new story but they forgot to make it interesting. Or make sense. Or be believable. Or engaging. By the end, you’re half-wishing that Robin Hood would die just so that something interesting would happen; the movie doesn’t make you care about him much. But, the end is actually the beginning of the normal Robin Hood story. The big payoff is… he’s living in the woods! One sweet part: Friar Tuck throws some beehives into the Nottingham chapel where some marauding French soldiers are getting drunk off mead.

My suggestion is the Disney Classic version:

Don’t worry if this post ruined the movie for you. It really wasn’t worth seeing in the first place.

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